right..

Back to work aft 2.5 days of hols. i hate his monday feelin on a thursday. Gd to know tmr's end of a week again. Im feelin abit sick. Might be taking my 1st MC in the sch pretty soon.

PmS week. peak of it. its the pms day. i dont feel like smiling to anyone. Dont feel like talking. Dont even wanna see the stewpid class later. SIanZ.. its not like im not prepared for lessons, its jus that no one listens.

Im gonna be cruel today and remind them of the harsh fact. i jus realised how pathetic it is for a class of 15-years old not knowing how to rewrite in direct speech. really pathetic. Im gonna tell them that one day, in the near future, when their children in primary sch ask thme for help in their sch work, they're gonna say, "oOPs.. sorri nv learn b4" or even if they helped, the kid will get scoldin in schs for makin stupid mistakes. Thats the harsh reality they have yet to realise.

I realy think i should start plannin to do something else when this ends in 3 yrs. No pt stayin. Im not enjoying my job.I only like the free periods, when i can have free time to plan my stuff. I enjoy the planning. not the teaching. Maybe its the environment, maybe its the peeps. Maybe its jus not my cup of tea. I can do it, no doubt, but i dun like it. Maybe ppl who know me cant imagine me doin my job. But when im at it, its a different me. sometimes so different that i dont know myslf. I feel like my soul is being pulled out of my body and im jus lookin a movie - a scene in the clsrm. sometimes thats how i feel.

How can someone always look forward to weekends, hols, free periods? esp when this is only the beginning. no fulfilment at al.

im workin for the sake of workin
maybe for the money
spending becomes my hobby
shopping makes me happy.