Saturday, January 08, 2005 @ 1/08/2005 09:31:00 PM
| Thoughts |
"People who have a passive dependent personality are so busy seeking to be loved that they have no energy left to love. It is as if within them they have an inner emptiness, a bottomless pit crying out to be filled but which can never be completely filled. They always feel "a part of me is missing". They tolerate loneliness very poorly. Because of their lack of wholeness they have no real sense of identity, and they define themselves solely by their relationships."
"If being loved is your goal, you will fail to achieve it. The only way to be assured of being loved is to be a person worthy of love, and you cannot be a person worthy of love when your primary goal in life is to passively be loved."
"They are endlessly angry, because they endlessly feel let down by others who can never in reality fulfill all their needs or "make" them happy. Allowing yourself to be dependent on another person is the worst possible thing you can do to yourself. You would be better off being dependent on heroin."
"Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. But in actuality it is not love; it is a form of antilove. It has its genesis in a parental failure to love and it perpetuates the failure. It seeks to receive rather than to give. It works to trap and constrict rather than to liberate. Ultimately it destroys rather than build relationships, and it destroys rather than build people."
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, M.D.
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