Wednesday, November 03, 2004 @ 11/03/2004 10:55:00 PM
| L o s t |
- l o s t -
Unhappy day. Once again, caused by him. The problem on saturdae was not solved and another has been added. He cancelled a dinner appointment with me saying that he has got work to do blah blah blah. Then the next thing i noe, he's happy-ing with his frens over lion dance again. This is one of those things i really cannot accept. He cancels an appointment with me to meet his frens. But he has NEVER ever cancelled appointments with his frens to be with me. He's such an aRse. He doesnt think that he's at fault. He talks to me about freedom.
Freedom? If he talks about that, den let me bring out my point. Whenever i have something to do, he'll question my motive. Still remembered when i wanted to join Music Clinic with dot, i had a quarrel with him and i promised to book a bbq pit for class gathering, he had to quarrel with me too. So much for freedom. He talks about persuing his dream and all. I admit i dun understand his passion cos i dun haf one myself. But i do believe that a sensible person can balance life and passion well. It's not what he's showing me.
I know sometimes i get overboard. But if i dont get the freedom i deserve, den why should he? It's just my character. He will get treated the way he treats me. Sometimes i dun even think he deserve the attention i give him. So now im contacting him lesser, i dun call him and i msg only to reply. dats all.. my heart's half dead. Doesnt help very much that im having hols. Nothing much to do ...anyway.. it's back to the period of time i had many months back when im trying to get used to life without him so when we eventually leave each other, its less painful. It's good that he's helping me get use to it though, now that we see less of each other.
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